Soul Searching
by foreverlight
Summary: Events that happened between Roy and Riza after Maes's funeral.


**Disclaimer: Don't own them but would love to.**

Yay my second fanfic. I didn't get to say much in my first since i posted it half-awake. I hope you enjoyed that one. I'm a huge royai fan and most if not all of my fanfic will be royai. Well, this one is about the events following Maes's funeralbetween Roy and Riza. Hope you like it.

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It finally started raining when Riza and Roy arrived at his apartment. Hours earlier they had buried their dear friend, Maes. Neither had spoken since the cemetery. At this point there was nothing to say. Roy quickly opened the door and entered. Riza followed closing the door. Roy knew she wouldn't leave him alone so he didn't bother telling her to go home. If he wanted to be alone, he'd have to do it with her there. He turned on the lights, mainly for her since he made a beeline for his bedroom.

Riza lingered in the living room for a few minutes giving Roy some time alone. At the same time, it would give her a chance to think. Still during this short time, she worried greatly that Roy would do something to himself. Maes had been a friend to her but was a brother to Roy. Maes's death had devastated them. Riza wouldn't be able to survive another attack to her heart but knew Roy needed his space. After several torturous minutes passed, she finally went to check on him.

Roy was laying on his side staring straight out the window from his bed. His shoes were at the foot of his bed, and his jacket cast aside on the floor. Riza immediately picked it up and placed it on a nearby chair. Even during grief she manages to be a neat freak. She then proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed with her back to his. Still no one said a work. Riza sat there letting her presence be known that if he wanted to talk she would be there.

The minutes passed and silenced still filled the room. When Roy didn't move, Riza figured he still needed some alone time. She decided to go back to the living room and wait for when Roy would need her but before getting up to leave she did something unprofessional and so unlike her. She leaned over, balancing herself by placing an arm on each side of Roy, and gave him a kiss on the side of his head. Before straightening herself, she whispered into his ear "Please get some sleep."

She then proceeded to lift herself turning away from him but only managed to move about an inch. Roy had grabbed her hand closest to his chest. Riza had stopped and immediately looked at him. He didn't turn to look at her or even speak rather he held onto her hand. Words didn't need to be passed between them. Riza knew what he wanted; it had always been like this. Riza always knew what he wanted and needed even before he knew it. She kicked off her shoes and removed her jacket, after prying her hand from Roy. After putting her jacket on the chair where she had placed Roy's jacket earlier, she got in Roy's bed. Right now, all Roy needed was someone there to prove that he wasn't alone in the world. She laid with her chest to his back. One arm wrapped his waist and her head placed softly against the back of his neck. There the two laid both deep in grief, although one was handling it better. Roy finally broke the silence.

"Riza, is it my fault?" he softly asked. "Am I the reason Maes died?'

"No, it's nobody's fault. He died trying to better our country."

"But I could have done something. I could have saved him."

Riza could hear the trembling in his voice. She knew he blamed himself for Maes's death. All she could do was try to convince him otherwise and comfort him. Moving from her place behind him, she positioned herself leaning over him so she could make eye contact.

"There was nothing you could do. Maes is gone, and we're still here. We have to continue to live. Maes would've wanted us to."

Before Riza knew it, she found herself pinned against the bed. Her arms were held down at the wrists by Roy's hands. Roy was on top of her. He had straddled her after hearing that last sentence.

"And how would you know what Maes wanted?" he shouted at her. "What if he wanted me to feel this pain?"

"Because I knew Maes, too. He wouldn't want us to drown in our sorrows. I know how you feel but we can't stay this way."

"How would you know how I feel! He was my best friend!"

Riza couldn't stand it anymore. Roy was blaming himself and was trying to shoulder Maes's death all by himself. She finally let him have it.

"Because _Roy_ he was my friend as well," she yelled. The sudden sound of his name from Riza's lips had caught him off guard and in essence knocked him out of his grief and back into reality. He listened with great concentration to what Riza was trying to say. In a calmer voice Riza continued. "You're not the only one suffering. Everyone is dying inside, Glacier, Elicia, Havoc and the others, and I'm sure Edward and Alphonse will when they find out. We all know what you're feeling because he was apart of our lives and hearts, too. He always brought joy to us, in his own little was of course. Now with him gone there's a void in all of us."

Roy couldn't speak or move. He knew everything that Riza had just said was true. After finishing her speech, she broke eye contact with Roy. She turned her head to look out the window. She felt ashamed at the fact that she called Roy by his first name. In addition, she had yelled at her superior officer. Minutes passed but no one dared move. There was too much going through both of their heads. Riza was brought out of her thoughts by the sudden touch of warm tears to her cheek. She quickly turned her head to see streams of tears rolling down Roy's face. His hair had blocked off most of his face but Riza could distinctly see tears as well as feel them on her face.

"Roy?" she asked very concerned. Upon hearing his name, Roy dropped his head onto Riza's chest and started crying. He couldn't hold it any longer. He buried his face into her and let the tears flow freely. Soon after, his grip on Riza's wrists loosened. His hands traveled down until they finally wrapped around Riza's body. The crying had become more intense. Roy was finally letting it all out. With her hands free, Riza began comforting Roy. She wrapped one arm around his shoulders holding him tightly. Then she gently stroked his hair with her remaining hand. "Just let it all out. Everything will be alright…someday."

The crying continued for ten minutes. Riza didn't dare move. She didn't try escaping Roy's embrace. He was letting out his pain and that was all that mattered. After he finished crying, he kept his head on her chest laying it so that he could look out the window.

"Riza?"

"Hmm?"

"Riza, stay with me. Don't leave me like Maes did."

"I'll always be by your side."

"Will you stay with me, tonight?"

"If you want me to." Roy quickly nodded his head. "Alright. How 'bout we get some sleep?" Again he nodded. "But first, can I borrow some clothes?"

"Why?" he asked confused, after lifting himself up to look Riza in the eyes.

"Because my blouse is wet from your crying," she responded. "And my military skirt is getting on my nerves. I can't move my legs."

"You could if it was a miniskirt."

Riza quickly shot him a glare but it immediately faded into a smile. Roy was back to his old self. "Only in your dreams."

"You always are."

After a quick change into one of Roy's dress shirt and letting her hair down, Riza made her way from the bathroom back to Roy's bedroom. Roy was sitting on the bed in his boxers and a t-shirt. His eyes lit up when Riza walked into the room. The dress shirt had stopped mid-thigh, and Roy was glad that none of his other clothes fit her.

"That is definitely better than a miniskirt."

"Go to sleep," she said before laying down on her side with her back to him. Roy almost immediately slid himself to lay behind her. He placed his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. As soon as their bodies touched, Roy froze. That didn't surprise Riza, what surprised her was that Roy slid his hand under the shirt she was wearing.

"You know, you shouldn't wear guns to bed," he said as he began unbuckling the strap around her waist. "You could hurt yourself…or rather hurt me." After getting it unhooked, he gently removed it from around her. Leaning over her, he placed the belt, gun and all, on the floor. Once that was done, he went back to his previous position.

"That was the idea," Riza spoke looking over her shoulder. "I feel your hands where they shouldn't be I'm shooting them off."

Roy kept them in appropriate places: one arm supported Riza's neck and the other at her waist. When it came to threats, Riza's were always to be taken seriously. With that little bit done, they proceeded to fall asleep. Riza was the first one out. Roy stayed awake for a few more minutes enjoying the warmth that Riza was leaving on every part of him that touched her. After pulling the covers up a bit, Roy fell asleep.

His rest didn't last long. After a half hour, he found himself wide awake. Every time he closed his eyes, he'd see himself burying another friend. First he buried Havoc, then Fuery, next Breda, Falman, Glacier, Ed, and Al. It continued until he reached Riza. He couldn't close his eyes after that. His arm instinctively tightens around Riza; he couldn't bear to lose her. Pictures of her funeral kept flashing in his mind, so much that he almost believed it true. Yet there she is in his bed, in his arms, fast asleep.

He was knocked out of that nonexistent world by Riza's sudden movement. She had turned herself over. They were now chest to chest, stomach to stomach. Roy stiffened a bit but quickly loosened when he felt Riza's arms wrap around his neck and her head gently nuzzling against him. All he could do was smile and hold her close to him. He could feel her breathing on him and that brought him great comfort. It proved to that she was really there and that he wasn't alone in the world. Yet all of that didn't help him get to sleep. If he slept then he would be pulled back into a world of loneliness but if he was awake then he would have her. So he stayed awake.

"Go to sleep," Riza said. She had been conscious the entire time. Her sudden order had caught Roy off guard. He believed that she was fast asleep.

"I will."

"You need to sleep." Riza moved so that she was looking into Roy's eyes. She could see that he was tired but refused to sleep. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Roy."

"I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I'm burying another friend. I keep burying you."

"I see."

"I don't want to see that happen."

"Roy, it's only a dream. I'm right here, alive and well."

"But what if-"

"No buts. A dream isn't real. What's real in that I'm here in bed with you, albeit inappropriate, trying to get some sleep."

Roy was about to say another negative thought but was quickly cut off by Riza. She stopped Roy by pressing her lips against his. It shocked Roy but he soon found himself kissing her back. Riza, again, was on her back with Roy on top of her. Her legs cradled Roy as he continued the kiss. The kiss was only broken for much needed air.

"I didn't expect you to do that," Roy said surprised.

"Now do you believe me?" Riza said. "What matters is here and now, not what ifs. No one knows his or her future. We have to live our lives to the fullest. One day I will die but I'll go without any regrets."

"I know but still I don't want to see you get hurt."

"You'll protect me, won't you?" she said. Before he could answer, Riza pulled him into another kiss. This one was more passionate that the last. Roy's hands began to wander. One found its way under the shirt and onto her waist. It slowly began moving up but was stopped short of its destination by Riza's hand and was pushed back down to her waist.

"Always. I'll always protect you," Roy replied after breaking free from the kiss.

"Good. Now let's get some sleep. It's late."

"But can't we continue this?" he whined. This time Roy initiated the kiss before Riza could reply. She didn't seem to mind. They continued their kissing, stopping every few minutes to get some air.

"Okay that's enough. We need to get some sleep." Roy would have protested with more kisses but the stern face she had stopped him. Disobeying her order now would get him into trouble. So he acknowledged that it was late and that they should get some sleep. But he didn't immediately get off of her. He lingered a bit, which concerned Riza. "What's wrong now?"

"Riza…I love you."

"Roy…get off me." It wasn't what he expected her to say. He had just confessed his love for her and she tells him to get off her. An arrow struck his heart but all he could feel was pain. Was she only there because he asked her to? He quickly turned his head while trying to hold back his tears. But as soon as he turned his head, he felt her hands cupping his face turning it back to look at her. There she was beneath him smiling while she wiped away the tears with her thumbs. "Roy, I love you, too, but you're heavy. Please get off me."

The two of them couldn't help but start laughing. After giving Riza a quick kiss, Roy got off of her. He rolled onto his back. He was happy. In the wake of Maes's death, he actually found himself happy. All that was left for him to do that night was get some sleep. Riza had already fallen asleep. She was exhausted from all the events that had happened that day. Her head laid on Roy's chest slowly rising with every breath he took and an arm resting on his shoulder. The rest of her body was held in Roy's arm. Roy soon followed Riza's suit after giving her a kiss on the head and pulling the covers up to her shoulder.

In the morning he woke up to find his bed empty. He began to panic. Where was his Riza? That feeling ultimately washed away when he smelled an aroma in the air. Jumping to his feet, he rushed towards the aroma. There in his kitchen was his Riza cooking him breakfast. She still wore his shirt. Glad that she was still there, he lingered against a wall watching her every movement. He watched at how she moved her body as she slid some eggs onto to a plate, how she poured more eggs into the pan, how she did a quick stretch upwards revealing more of herself then Roy should have seen before tending to the eggs. '_Lacy, I never would have guessed' _he thought as he etched that image into his mind.

After absorbing as much as he could in one stare, he walked up quietly behind her. Riza never noticed him in the room. She was too busy make breakfast for the two of them. So it wasn't surprising when she gave a little jump the moment that she felt an arm wrap around her. Although it did surprise Roy when the spatula came flying back at his face. He managed to grab her wrist with his free hand before it hit him. After realizing who it was, Riza gave a slightly chuckle.

"Morning, Roy. Sleep well?"

"Morning, Honey. Yes, best sleep I've had in years." Riza blushed at what he had just called her. Roy wrapped his arms around her tighter sliding them under the shirt so he could feel the softness of her skin against his. This sent a tingle through Riza's body and she relaxed into his arms. At that moment Roy gave her a kiss on the cheek that trailed down to her collarbone. They were lost their moment.

"Sorry about the spatula, you surprised me."

"It's alright. What's that burning smell?"

"Oh crap, the eggs." They were so busy with each other that they forgot about the eggs. They were burnt to a crisp. It didn't even resemble eggs, more like two lumps of coal. Roy started laughing. "I wouldn't be laughing those were your eggs." He frowned upon hearing that. All Riza could do was smile. "I guess we'll have to share the ones I made for myself." That definitely earned a smirk from Roy. He had his own interpretation of that sentence. Riza broke free of his grip as Roy continued into his little fantasy. She proceeded to throw away the burnt eggs and dumped the pan in the sink. That would be cleaned later. She turned around to be promptly greeted by Roy's lip. Her arms found their way around his neck and his found their way around her waist. He had her pinned up against the counter. By the end of the kiss she was sitting on it. Their arms were still wrapped around each other.

"Riza?"

"Yes?"

"When I become Fuhrer, would you marry me?" Her answer came in the form of a kiss. She leaned forward sliding of the counter and into Roy. "I'll take that as a yes."

"No. That was a I'll think about but right now I want to eat my breakfast kiss."

'If that was a I'll think about kiss, I'd love to see what a yes kiss is' he thought to himself after Riza left his embrace Riza guiding him to the table brought him out of his thoughts. The images of his fantasy came rushing back when he sat in his chair. Riza placed his plate of sausage and no eggs in front of him and took her plate with her as she walked to her seat. Before she could get out of his reach, Roy grabbed her pulling her onto his lap.

"I thought you were going to share with me some eggs," he said holding her tightly on his lap by the waist.

"I was kind of hoping that you forgot."

"Someone's being selfish, keeping all the eggs to themselves."

"I'm not the only one. You're keeping me all to yourself, but you have to share me." He frowned. "With Hayate."

"Of course." he laughed out.

In the end Roy only ate or rather was fed half an egg. He was preoccupied with running his fingers up and down Riza's smooth legs. She didn't seem to mind. She was just happy to be eating the eggs. Although she did find it irritating when Roy would snap the hem of her underwear against her skin every once and a while. That would have been stopped if Roy wasn't utterly enjoying himself.

"Roy, you're weird."

"And yet you love me."

"You're lucky I do or I would have broken that hand of yours a long time ago." He froze a little at that last comment but quickly went back to his fun. Riza getting off his lap interrupted it. She had finished her breakfast. After collecting Roy's plate, she went to the sink to clean them and the other things already there. Roy followed her offering to help. She was the washer, and he was the dryer. Soon after she joined in on the drying. "Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" He was too involved in his drying to actually register what was going on. By this time, Riza had finished all her drying and was wiping the counters down. She had her calm face on.

"Yes, I will marry you. I will marry the idiot standing next to me who's wearing heart covered boxers, probably a gift from his best friend, and is about to drop that plate he is drying." And he does drop it but is caught by Riza. She then places it on the counter.

"Really?"

"Yes, I'll marry you." Before she knew, Roy had her in his arms spinning her around. By the end of the spinning she found herself sitting on top of the counter. Roy had placed her there before bolting for his bedroom. She sat there patiently waiting for him to return. And return he did. There was something different about him. He had his hands hidden behind his back and the smirk on his face was different from what Riza normally saw. What was he up to? He strode up to her acting very sly. He stood directly in front of her, rose up a fist slightly above and in front of her, and opened it. A gold chain dangled from his hand and on it was a ring. Riza got a quick look at it before Roy put it around her neck. " What's this for?"

"Well, you're my fiancée now. It's only fitting I give you a ring."

"It's not necessary."

"But I insist."

"You didn't make this, did you?"

"No, I bought it about three years to get a certain person we know to leave me alone about getting a wife, although though that didn't last long. He told me to get a wife the next day."

"Ah, so it's a special ring. In that case I'll always wear it."

Smiling, Roy leaned in to capture Riza's mouth. She gladly let him fully explore her mouth as well as let his hands wander to a certain extent. They had to stay above the waist. There was going to be absolutely no sex until they are married. Too bad for Roy. The least she could do was let him have some fun before she started training him to be a good husband.

Up in heaven the hordes of angels cheering at the scene that was unfolding below them. There was one up there louder than the rest. A certain black haired, green-eyed, glasses wearing, overzealous, family loving man was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Woohoo! It's about freaking time those two got together. I've always known those were perfect for each other."

"Maes, calm down," an angel said to him. "Remember what happened last."

"Right, the riot."

"You've only been here a day and caused more trouble than Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."

"You know, they really do make a cute couple," another angel said.

"Yeah, it's great that they're together," the first angel began. "After all they've been through and will go through I'm glad the found each other."

"It just sucked that it took me dying to get them together," Maes stated.

"Don't be sad, Maes," another angel piped in. "Roy finally took your advice and found himself a wife."

"I know. I'm happy for them but you know what would make me happy?"

"Oh no." all the angels said.

"Anyone want to see a picture of my darling, Elicia?"

Before he even finished talking, the crowd of angels dispersed in all directions. They flew at full speed to get away from the manic father. Maes started running after them but stopped about two minutes later.

"You're lucky my wings got stripped and I can't fly after you all," he shouted at the disappearing angels. He plops himself down on the clouds. "Geez, I try and show God all my pictures of Elicia and Glacier and I end up grounded or in this case clouded for a month." He pulls out a picture of Elicia and Glacier. "But that doesn't matter as long as I have you two in my heart."

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Well, how was it? Leave a review.


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